Stained
by foreverdebt
Summary: "﻿Death would be a ﻿pleasure to me! I wish someone would just kill me now!” Please review!
1. Concealing the Truth

"Harry! Hey Harry!" Hermione called across the platform as she ran towards her friend. Her brunette curls blew wildly about and face was flushed red. She ran up to Harry and threw her arms around him, "It's so good to see you!" she yelled excitedly. Harry stepped away from her uneasily, not returning the hug and murmured a quick "Yeah."  
  
Worriedly, Hermione looked up at him and her eyes swept across his face. His emerald eyes no longer gleamed brightly as they used too. He looked pale and drained and his face no longer glowed with its usual happiness. "Harry, what happened to you?" she gasped and put her hand out to link with his. Harry pulled away from her touch and looked away. Before either could speak, Ron bounded over with a cheerful hello to each of his friends. "Listen, I think I'll sit somewhere else on the train." Harry muttered and then walked quickly away.  
  
Ron turned to Hermione, astonished and angry and growled, "What is wrong with him!"  
  
Hermione looked up worriedly and said, "I don't know."  
  
"Uhhh, should we go after him." Ron asked.  
  
Hermione looked up at Harry's retreating back and shook her head firmly. "Maybe, he just needs some time by himself."  
  
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Harry's need to be by himself lasted a long time. He managed to avoid Hermione and Ron completely between classes and eating time for at least two weeks. No matter, how hard they searched for him, he always seemed to have just left the room. Other's noticed the change in the great Boy-Who- Lived. They commented to each other how weary and old he looked, how he never talked unless absolutely necessary, how the wonderful threesome between him, Ron and Hermione had broken apart. Students and teachers asked Ron and Hermione what was wrong with him but they never had an answer.  
  
One Thursday morning, Ron and Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast and were delighted to find Harry sitting at the table. He was alone and was sitting away from his fellow Gryffindors but at least he was there. Hermione began to walk across to him but Ron held her back, "Not just yet, Hermione. Let him have his space for a bit longer."  
  
She agreed and they wandered over to the others and sat down to eat and talk. Hermione snuck quick glances at Harry, taking in his stony face and icy body movements. Soon after Harry Potter left the Great Hall.  
  
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A week later, Harry was outside, walking across the Quidditch grounds. The surging wind and wintry cold tore at his body. Harry could feel the faintest drop of water on his skin, as the storm that had been forming for the past few days, began. He wandered about, savouring the green grass, the dark sky and the water that came down harder and faster, each step he took. Soon the rain was at full blast, pouring down on him as he held his arms out, welcoming it. He was in the centre of the field now, letting the rain wash over him. Letting it tear into his skin and crash onto his dark hair. He spun around and watched the droplets fly off his spinning body and plunge effortlessly into the ground.  
  
He stopped spinning to enjoy the droplets fall down on his upturned face and noticed a figure, watching him, just a few metres away. He walked towards to figure and realised it was Draco.  
  
"What the hell are you doing in the rain, Malfoy?" Harry growled.  
  
"Could ask the same to you" Draco responded.  
  
Looking up, Harry's eyes focussed on Draco's messy, blonde hair which was plastered down onto his head. "Aren't you worried you're going to ruin you perfect hair." Harry taunted.  
  
Draco laughed and gazed at Harry. "God, Harry, stop pretending to be someone else. Don't become some idiot who wanders through life! You're better than that. Most of the time you pretend to be the nasty, annoying Harry you're been now but sometimes you aren't. Just before, when you were spinning, that was the real Harry."  
  
Scornfully, Harry replied, "The "real" Harry! Ha! This is me, this is the real Harry. I'll always be this way, this is me!"  
  
Draco stared right into Harry's eyes, enjoying the sensation of the rain on his face, "You're wrong. You can lie to others but don't lie to yourself."  
  
Harry glared angrily at Draco while muttering some unintelligent response. He pulled his robe tighter around his body then stormed off.  
  
Draco dug his hands into his pockets and watched the retreating figure. He shook his head sadly, "He doesn't realise how much he's affecting people. Hurting people. He doesn't realise how much hope he's destroying . He's oblivious."  
  
With these last words to the wind, Draco proceeded to slowly cross the grounds, back to the classrooms and corridors where he was the sneering, sarcastic Slytherin.  
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A/N: Please review me and I'll love you forever!! More coming if you want it...?? 


	2. Death Confronts

A/N: I just wanna say thanks to my great reviewers! I really do appreciate it! Please keep reviewing everyone, please??!!  
  
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Harry never waited for Ron and Hermione to go to breakfast or classes. He always just headed off by himself and later they would follow. Hermione, on seeing that Harry wasn't going to offer Ron or her a seat next to him, decided that they would just go and plonk themselves next to him. The first day they did this, Harry didn't show any emotion, he didn't move away, he just sat quietly and stared ahead. So Ron and Hermione continued to sit next to or near him. After, a few weeks, Ron didn't think they should bother to make the effort to sit next to him but Hermione thought it was important to continue their strange ritual. Even though he didn't talk, Hermione still enjoyed the times where Harry was with them. If not in spirit, at least in body.  
  
Sometimes, Hermione and Harry would lock eyes and although it pained her to see what was in his eyes, she loved the fact that he would still look at her. She found hope deep in his hard, green eyes. The eyes, that used to twinkle and glow, lightening up an entire room. The eyes that were now were sunken into his pale face. Even the colour seemed to have faded. Faded with the death, anger and sadness that he'd been through. She longed to free him from his cage of misery, unlock his heart which had been bolted shut with a huge metal padlock. The only way his eyes would twinkle again would be to unlock his heart again. Hermione was determined to do just that.  
  
One morning, Ron and Hermione and the other Gryffindors were talking over breakfast when all of a sudden, Neville came bounding in. He was running as fast as his short, pudgy legs would carry him. Dean called out as he sped past their table, "Whose chasing ya Neville?" Neville didn't answer just pointed behind him, to the Great Hall doors. Their question was soon answered when Lavender, another Gryffindor, came running in yelling a string of obscenities all attached with Neville's name. Hearing her, Neville's face contorted into a look of absolute horror. She continued chasing him and soon the gap between them began to close. They raced around the Great Hall, to the cheering and yelling of all the Hogwart's students before Neville ducked back through the entrance doors again. Furious, Lavender followed and the next sound they heard was Lavender hexing a terrified Neville. The Great Hall burst into laughter and happy talking began as everyone tried to work out what Neville had done.  
  
Ron was grinning ear to ear, Seamus and Dean were holding on to each other to try and stay on their seats they were laughing so hard and Hermione was giggling into her hand. Just as Hermione turned in the direction of Harry, she saw a tiny smile flicker across his face. She bent close and whispered quietly in his ear, "It is okay to laugh, you know." He looked shocked and then suddenly shot up from his seat and walked away. She stared longingly after him, now frowning. She was glad she had caught his small smile and she was glad she had spoken to him. At least she knew that he was capable of another emotion, besides guilt, sadness and anger.  
  
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Harry had started to speak more. Hermione saw it as progress. Ron saw it as a step back. On their way to Potions, Ron was trying to convince her why it was a regress, "Look at him! Almost everything he says is negative. He speaks in that sneering angry voice or that empty sad one!" Hermione still wasn't convinced, "I know, Ron, but at least he's talking more instead of sitting there like a fricking stunned mullet!" Ron rolled his eyes at her, "Sure, Hermione, Sure. God, I hope Professor Snape is still on holidays or where ever he went. It's been great having Mrs Tiller teaching us, she's a great teacher!" "You just like her cause she's pretty!" Hermione retorted. Grinning, Ron agreed as they walked up to join the other students.  
  
Behind them, Harry was speaking to Seamus who had politely asked him what he had after lunch. Harry shrugged and said sadly, "Probably something really boring, like 'Care of Magical Creatures.' Seamus lowered his eyes oppressively and said quietly, "I thought you loved that." Harry turned, now angry, "Yeah, I used too. When we had a great teacher."  
  
The Gryffindor's and Slytherin's entered the dark dungeon, talking quietly. Half the class frowned immediately while the other half grinned widely at the site in front of them. Professor Snape was waiting at the front of the classroom. "Take your seats! Hurry up!" he yelled.  
  
Quickly, everybody took their seats, Harry sat on his own at the back and Seamus wandered over, on seeing he was alone. Professor Snape observed the interesting seat plan and commented on it to his favourite students, the front row Slytherin's. "Well, well. Our favourite threesome have finally broken up. How sad." He spoke in a stage whisper and grinned maliciously at the class. Ron and Hermione head's just drooped lower, even more miserable. Harry completely ignored him and looked away. Professor Snape looked quite grumpy at his unenthusiastic response and proceeded to take his anger out on Neville for moving about in his seat too noisily.  
  
At the back of the classroom, Seamus was trying to talk to Harry. "But Harry, you can still enjoy 'Care of Magical Creatures' class even without...even without Hagrid." Harry's eyes glazed over at the mention of Hagrid's name and he fidgeted with his wand. Seamus continued, "Hagrid is dead. You just have to accept that. It wasn't your fault, Harry. These things just sometimes happen."  
  
Harry cringed at Seamus's words and resisted the urge to jump on him and throttle him to death, just so he would stop talking. Seamus was oblivious to Harry's discomfort and continued on. "Really, Harry. I know you miss Hagrid but you have to move on."  
  
Harry hated hearing Hagrid's name. He hated hearing Seamus talk. He didn't want to hear any noise! He wanted silence, he wanted quiet! Abruptly, Harry stood, throwing his chair backwards with such force that a mirror on the wall fell and cracked. "Shut up! Would you all just shut up!" he yelled  
  
Professor Snape was furious. His face was bright purple and he shouted, "Harry Potter! Sit back down right now or I will ensure your punishment will be worse than death!" Harry laughed sarcastically, "That's a funny one Snape! Worse than death! Death would be a pleasure to me! I wish someone would just kill me now!"  
  
The class was dead quiet as Harry stormed out of the dungeon. All that could be heard was Professor Snape ragged breathing until Hermione and Ron stood and pleaded to be allowed to go after Harry.  
  
Professor Snape gave a weak nod and the pair zoomed out of the classroom to find Harry.  
  
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	3. Stares that Pain

Ron and Hermione quickly located Harry who was heading towards the Gryffindor common room. They followed him through the school, keeping him in site at all times. Soon, they arrived at the corridor leading to the common room. "Harry, Harry!! Wait up, we really need to talk to you!" Ron yelled up the corridor. Harry just quickened his pace and began to clamber into the Gryffindor portrait. Hermione and Ron sighed angrily and sprinted down towards him. They quickly entered the common room and found Harry brooding near the fire place. He turned and scowled at the pair.  
  
"Just bloody leave me alone!" Harry shouted as he stood up. Hermione took a step towards him and whispered, "Harry, please, we want to help you. If you'd just give us a chance." Harry looked at her furiously and howled, "Stupid, stupid Mudblood! You have no idea what I've been through. You never will! You will never be able to help!"  
  
Ron stood staring, disbelieving at Harry. His old friend. How could Harry ever be like this? Turning towards Ron, Harry caught him staring and began to shout at him. "And you!!! You have no idea either. Stop staring at me! STOP IT!!" Ron was too shocked to look away or move and as Harry advanced towards him, he didn't move. Suddenly, Harry raised a clenched fist and hit Ron hard across the face. Hermione gasped as Ron fell sharply to the ground. Harry spat at him angrily and then turned away, heading towards the Boy's Dormitory. Bewildered, Ron sat up , grabbing his face and winching at the already forming bruise.  
  
"I guess the real Harry really is gone, well, can you tell him that it was really great knowing him! Really great!" Hermione shouted angrily at the boy's retreating back.  
  
Harry whipped around, his body shaking wildly. Hermione looked up and saw his eyes clear. She was sure he was going to break down but that moment passed quickly and he regained his composure. His eyes fogged over again and he sneered, "I'll be sure to!"  
  
Hermione gasped through her pink, tear stained face and stepped back. Ron stood up, put one hand on his swollen face and wrapped the other arm around her shoulders. He looked down and led her gently away. Harry didn't move and as he glanced back at the two, Hermione's and his eyes met. They stared stonily at each other until she disappeared behind the corner. Out of site, Hermione let out another sob and Ron's grip tightened on her.  
  
Harry pushed his sweaty hair out of his emerald eyes and glared at the floor. He fell backwards and connected with the cool wall before letting himself slide roughly down it. His eyes became moist with tears and he angrily wiped them away before sighing and laying his head too his bent knees. 


End file.
